Melissa

This is the one Christmas I am actually looking forward to. Not because of presents, frankly I honestly don’t want anything but I am just excited to give presents. My boyfriend in particular we have an inside joke of him being a super hero that works for Walgreens. So I thought how awesome would it be if I made him into a cartoon superhero. Which turned out so awesome that I got custom made as an iPhone case for his cellphone. I’m so excited to see the look on his face when he sees it I’ve never been this happy to get someone a gift

You ever get so nervous it seems like you cant breathe? and all of a sudden your stomach gets the butterflies? but its not the good butterflies.. the painful ones like they’re all fighting in your stomach trying to get out. You ever scared to hear bad news? like the dreaded text message you’re waiting to receive, and when you do you get this sick roller coaster drop feeling in your stomach.. but its worst like all your insides just fell to the bottom. Or seeing something you weren’t supposed to see on accident, like a picture or something someone posted. it was like a slap in the face wasn’t it? everything he ever told you, now seems like a lie. how he just left.. no words, no explanation. Just you. Sitting there, dumbfounded with all these questions. And now you sit there wondering what could of went wrong, blaming yourself on what you could of done to make him stay, thinking how everything that was so right went so wrong? and now.. you sit there all alone. No words from him. No more him telling you how beautiful you are, no more being the first thing he wakes up to and last thing. Just you, sitting in bed. Replaying all those moments, listening to the song that reminds you of him, crying yourself to sleep. But you know what you’re going to do. You’re going to sit up, dry those wasted tears. and tell yourself you don’t need him. why should you waste your tears crying over someone who doesn’t think about you? why should you ever break down over a guy who wasn’t man enough to give you a reason on why he left? you may hear this all the time but its true. he doesn’t fucking deserve your heart. cause you know why? You’re going to do just fine without him, in fact better. You’re going to show him that he didn’t matter and you’re perfectly happy without him. You’re going to post a bunch of pictures with your friends and make it look like you’re having a good time, and hope he sees it. But this time. You’re not going to pretend, you’re gonna have a blast. And its gonna suck, you will have those moments where you wish you can text him that certain something, you’re gonna wish that every text message you receive would have a slight chance on it being him. But you will pull through. I know it. Just because he wasn’t the one. doesn’t mean you wont find another. Don’t go searching for love. Let time take its course, and don’t set yourself short. Because when that time does come, you will realize that he wasn’t worth any of it, that now you found someone who actually took the time to care. And he will look back, and maybe he’ll wish he had you back, maybe he’ll wish he actually took the time. But maybe he won’t. Maybe he wont even give a shit. But you know what? who cares, because now you know that everything he ever was.. wasn’t.  

(Source: mjd6776)

Everything I ever thought was a lie. the fact that i gave my heart to you, shared things i don’t just share with anyone makes me humiliated that you aren’t man enough to give me an explanation on why you just left. All i’m left with is just floating questions. Love sure does fucking hurt. You said you weren’t like the rest.. and I believed you. 

Silly me.